What I’m Reading
Jan
17
Send Help
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Wednesdays are quickly becoming the days I get home from work and drink an entire bottle of wine before Chris even gets home. On Wednesdays I can actually feel that hereditary alcoholic gene boiling up somewhere inside my DNA, passed down through generations of European bloodlines, just waiting to get at a bottle or six of Boone’s Farm so that I can escape the unbearable pain for a while.
On Wednesdays, the saga of my “technology” class continues.
Yesterday was our second meeting and I am sorry to inform you that it has gotten no better. My fellow co-workers have not become technology savvy in the past seven days, nor have I gained any more patience with their bumbling ways. In a stroke of luck a friend from work also signed up for the class this week. She has been known to carry her laptop to my office so that I can show her how to copy and paste (again) but she is always very good-natured about it. It’s funny how when it’s a friend I’m helping out I have infinite tolerance and compassion for their plight. “Don’t worry! You’ll get it! You’re doing great!” But when it’s random dumb people? Especially people my age or younger? Well, I’m pretty sure you could have heard my sighs ringing out over the internet. I rolled my eyes so hard at one point I think I sprained my cornea.
We spent the entire two hour class learning how to create links. And not even in html, people; by clicking the hyperlink tab in Blogger. And still! People still couldn’t understand! They couldn’t grasp the concept that they needed to highlight the word they wanted to link to and then add the url of the site. They just couldn’t do it. They kept typing out the entire url of these really long sites directly into their post and then demanding to know why it looked like that when clearly they had done everything EXACTLY HOW HE TOLD US TO DO IT. Except, of course, they hadn’t. And they are dumb.
They also had the hardest time with commenting. One woman actually informed me that she could not comment on her friend’s blog post because it already said “1 comment” and she didn’t want to overwrite that comment. I started to explain to her that there would be a lot of very sad bloggers out there if they could only receive one comment per post, but I stopped myself before they realized that I already am a blogger. They also wanted to know if they should write their own post in the comment section. I tried to explain that it’s more like a response feature, not a novel-writing opportunity, but the comments they left were so long they didn’t have time to finish their own posts. Honestly, I wish I could link to the class blogs and the class website just so you could experience my class vicariously, but I am not so stupid as to sully my good name by mixing with that riffraff. Plus, I know some smart ass would go over there and comment and I’d be opening myself up to a world of trouble. I’m looking at you, Aaron.
So for now you’ll have to content yourselves with the mental images I have conjured up for you. If it helps you picture the scene, two of the women were wearing denim jumpers and clogs. Another wore a purple scrunchie.
Whatever. At least they have snacks. And free grad credit. That’s pretty good too.
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well the snacks make it worth it right? lol
but seriously that comment thing is funny. thinking she could leave one because someone already had. non-technical people just should blog.
oops i meant *shouldn’t blog. hell that would have been a contradiction
ooohhhh…..you could email me the links if you like….I could do with a good time waster. I won’t comment on them, I pinkie swear.
I went on a date the other day and the guy was telling me that he only has three icons on his desktop and when I said I code pages for a living he had no idea what I was talking about. All I could think of was, I need to go home and comment on NPW’s post about her class. I of course forgot by the time I got home.
I feel so much better about not being able to figure out how to re-install my start up software. And that’s all because I’m a hyperlink computer genius who doesn’t own a scrunchie.
Well, except for the one I got for 80’s night.
These stories are awesome. We had a meeting at work recently about expanding our capabilities online, and there were all these people there who were trying to argue that we shouldn’t even get involved, because as soon as we develop a real online presence, especially with interactive media, we’re fostering internet addiction.
Yeah, jumpers and scrunchies is pretty much what I was picturing from the start.
Can we see the URLs of some of these people’s blogs? That could be entertaining in an incredibly sad sort of way.
You rolled your eyes so hard you sprained your cornea…I am still laughing. Thank you for my morning happy mood.
I knew you should of went straight to hollywwod instead of that library…
Damn. I thought I was pretty useless with a computer, but your classmates are making me feel like Matthew friggin’ Broderick in War Games. I’m popping blog wheelies around those people. Thanks for the perspective.
You should link us to your class blog so we can all comment there and you can wow your classmates with the instant popularity of your class blog. Ha!
Oh, dude, now I’m DYING to go leave a comment! You can’t tease me like that! Sigh.
Oh, my goodness. See those things rolling about? Those are my gouged-out eyeballs. It’s a good thing I learned how to type on The Home Row, which I wouldn’t even mention these techno-idiots of which you speak.
Since when is a course on “21st Century Technology” focused on Blogger? Is this the best that the 21st century can offer me?! I want a refund. Or a flying car.
I am totally emailing you for links. I promise to be good!
This makes me feel really smart. Thanks for that.
Are you guys just supposed to comment on each others’ blogs, or are you supposed to go out and comment on strangers’ blogs? Because I can imagine some innocent blogger getting a 5-page comment from one of your classmates, which would be awesome.
What do these students blog about? I never considered that one would have to “learn” this stuff, seeing as it’s kind of user friendly for computer stuff. Then again, I work with people who still hunt and peck and also have directions as to how to get on the internet on sticky notes stuck to their monitors.
PHEW!!!
I almost didn’t comment as I was afraid that my comment was going to wipe out all 15 previous.
Please tell me the younger people aren’t wearing jumpers of any sort. OR scrunchies.
I think I would raise my hand in the next class and ask the teacher if you can excused before your head explodes all over the keyboard and you’re sure they don’t want to clean grey matter out from between the T and Y key.
I am having so much fun reading about your plight in this class and I am so sorry that I am! It’s just amazing to me that people don’t “get it”. My Dad is 65 and he fully understands all the functions of a computer. Seriously, he was born during WWII, so these people have no excuse, unless they were just discovered on another planet.
Hang in there!
Ouch. For one of my grad classes, we had a class blog to write thoughts on during the week between classes. I was the administrator. I, who cannot figure out how to change my template from the basic typepad one I originally picked out, was the one people came to for help. Luckily, they didn’t have to do anything fancy like linking.
I’m really not sure what is more offensive: people who can’t manage to comment on a blog or people who still wear scrunchies. It’s a toss up!
OK, I only got halfway through reading your post and I wanted to send you a bottle of wine! By the time I finished reading, it had turned into a CASE. So sorry. So painful!
No really, I should be teaching this.
Except for the fact that I have no patience whatsoever.
I suggest the blue raspberry Boones Farm, it’s the most potent. It sounds like you need it after yesterday. I’m just impressed that you are still sticking it out, you deserve the pay increase girl, no matter how big or small!
So you’re sure you didn’t inadvertently sign up for the remedial class? Because really… Ouch.
Also, don’t all librarians wear clogs??
i would be drinking wine after that too. man. at least you get the free credit though. that makes it worth it. maybe.
OK, I’m finally de-lurking… this post was too good to not comment.
“I rolled my eyes so hard at one point I think I sprained my cornea.” My stomach still hurts from laughing at this one earlier today.
omgosh I can’t even IMAGINE some of the blogs that would come out of the people I work with… let alone just people in my town. craziness.
I haven’t thought about Boone’s Farm in *years*!!!!! Wow.
At least you have funny stories from your class. I’m enjoy them, so thanks.
I now feel like a computer whiz (despite the quiz I took recently that says I’m computer illiterate).
Oh, awesome. Part of my promotion means working in Front Page on our intranet and I thank Blogger every day for knowing how to do this stuff! I also get a little excited whenever I do something to my template because wow! Working in html! I am a rock star compared to these guys! Hee.
You are a better woman than I.
I think that class would make me seriously consider getting drunk BEFORE class. I’ve blogged drunk before- it’s not that hard.
Good Gawd! I feel so bad for you. At the end of something like that its like, shove a stick in my eye and just be done with it already! Perhaps its a good thing some blogs don’t make it to the publication stage.
[...] Pearl Wannabe: I shake with silent laughter during her tales of a cringe-inducing “21st Century Technology” course, which somehow translates into [...]
[...] Pearl Wannabe: I shake with silent laughter during her tales of a cringe-inducing “21st Century Technology” course, which somehow translates into [...]