Questions, Questions

Why is it that the second you tell someone you’re engaged they ask if you’ve set a date yet? Is that a thing? Do people propose and then immediately check their Google calendar and say “how does August 26th work for you to get this done?” Who cares about a date?! Man, I’ve waited 34 years to find someone amazing and have them feel the same way and people don’t even want us to enjoy it for a second before we’re consumed with details!

So in case you were wondering: no. We haven’t. Quite honestly, neither of us is interested in anything traditional, religious, or expensive, so it might take us a little while to think of an alternative that we love, and we’re ok with that.

Quickly following the question about a date is to ask how Jay proposed. While it was adorable and perfect for us, it requires some back story to tell, a 90s R&B hit, and some improvising on Jay’s part when everything didn’t work out quite as he planned. That is to say, not a story to tell in the twenty seconds you have while standing at the copy machine in between classes.

But don’t worry: I promise I’ll tell you all. I just want to make sure I get as many posts out of this as I can.

(Kidding! We’re just both super busy preparing for Thanksgiving and shopping and hanging with friends and family who want to celebrate.) (But yeah. At least five posts.)

Anyway, I’ve only ever been engaged once so I don’t have much experience with this situation, but I feel acutely aware and awkward about so much attention on me. I love that everyone is so excited for us, but wow. I haven’t blushed so much since 7th grade sex ed.

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9 Responses to Questions, Questions

  1. RA says:

    Elope to Vegas! I really, really want a friend of mine to do that, call me a week ahead of time, and be like, “Get on a plane!” And in this mythical world, I would totally have the time and money to do it. YESSS. Because your wedding is about me, right?


    I also want someone to get married on New Year’s Eve and have a crazy fancy party. And invite me, obvs.

  2. NGS says:

    Yes!! We called to tell our parents and the first thing they asked was what the date was. Uh…I have a shiny ring! No date! Such a weird question to ask and people can’t stop doing it!!!

  3. Chrissie says:

    Congratulations, and cute picture in yesterday’s post! Being engaged is such a special time; no need to rush to a date, you’ll both come up with wedding plans that are perfect for you when it’s right. :)

  4. heidikins says:

    Dude, I totally eloped and it was AWESOME. Most of my friends know (2 years later) the truth, some of my family, only one of my parents. Non-traditional is the WAY TO GO! (Which also means that the multiple posts I have on my blog about getting married are…kind of a sham. I mean, we had a fake-out ceremony in a historic church and it was lovely, but we didn’t actually get married then….so…yeah.)


  5. Megan says:

    Ohh, this is just the beginning of the questions! You can deflect a lot of the date- and general wedding-related questions by telling people you’re “just going to enjoy being engaged for awhile”– which you totally should! Being engaged is the best, second only to actually being married. (True fact: marriage pretty much rules.) The bonus of having a non-traditional wedding (whatever you decide to do) is that you’ll get to skip a lot of the completely ridiculous trappings of Being a Bride (surprise, there are a lot). :)

  6. Jules says:

    First, big congrats.

    Second: this is how this will go:
    Dating more than a year? Q: have you talked about marriage?
    Engaged? Q: have you set a date?
    Married? Q: when are the babies coming?
    Pregnant? Q: do you have names picked out?
    Had a baby 5 minutes ago? Q: when is number 2 coming?

    Gird yourself.

  7. Jantine says:

    I so see what you mean! People kept asking us too, this summer. Well, now we’ve got a date anyway, and it was about years sooner than we thought it to happen :)

  8. Shannon says:

    Yup, got engaged just over a year ago. HUGE surprise to me, called my parents about a half hour later and the very first thing was ‘have you set a date yet??!’ Umm, no. Given the fact that I was still in shock and mostly speechless, we hadn’t really coordinated our calendars yet. Be prepared: if a date is set for much more than a year after the engagement, people WILL ask ‘why so far away?’ You can’t win. Just enjoy the engagement-and CONGRATS!!

  9. Yeaaaah, as soon as you come up with answers to the first set of questions, the next set will arise. My favorite, and by that I mean least-favorite, was ‘What colors are you wedding?’ Maybe that’s a very Southern wedding thing, but WTF? Why does my wedding have to be a color? Just come up with some stock answer that satisfies the nosy people and use it over and over (doesn’t even have to be an accurate answer, if you ask me).

    I like to pass on this wedding site link to all of my smart, sane lady friends on the occasion of their engagement: It’s got a little bit of everything, but I love how it constantly reminds you how the marriage is more important than the wedding and to be true to yourself when going through the wedding process. It can get a little over-the-top feminist sometimes, but it likely will be far more your speed than the other, really, really terrible wedding websites out there (and you’ll know what I mean after you look at a few).

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