I made the mistake recently of counting up how many weeks I have left in the school year. While there were far more weeks left than seems possible, I still feel like I must be nearing the end of the line. We’re already well into April! That means only May and part of June! Plus I have next week off for April break! Oh who am I kidding? Summer break is forever away and I am NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT.
Sorry. Had to take a minute there and get hold of myself. The thing is, I gave myself a deadline of April to decide what I wanted to do about this job. Since we still do not have a contract here (going on two years now!), the likelihood of my middle school position coming back still does not seem great (going on four years now!). Should I stick it out and hope that next year will be the year I get to return to what I actually want to do, or cut my losses and start applying to other schools? If I’m being honest here, both options sound pretty terrible to me, but salary-wise I’d be dumb to leave this district. Ugh. It sucks that everything comes down to money, doesn’t it?
Lately everything about school has been pushing my irritation levels to maximum capacity. There are days when the kids are so far up in my grill that I actually feel a physical response to flee. Have you ever had thirty 8-year olds shouting your name while you try to do something? It’s alarming, to say the least. The other day I had a line of twenty kids waiting to check out books and one lone kid at the front of the line who had this conversation, mostly with himself: “Hmmm. I have a question… what was it again? Hmm. Oh yeah, I remember! Wait. What was it… oh yeah! So, do you have any books in this library?”
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE END.
And it’s not just the kids. A couple weeks ago I came back from the bathroom to find two teachers huddled over the printer. One of them nudged the other and hissed, “YOU ask her!” Come to find out, they were arguing about how to open the printer tray to add more paper. This is not a joke, people. Two grown-ass, Masters’-degreed women could not figure out how to open the paper tray of a printer. Commence self-destruct sequence.
On the bright side, poor Jay will listen to me complain until I run out of ranty things to say. That’s not to say I enjoy bitching about it, but I have some willing listeners and that’s pretty great. And my weekends have been so jam-packed with the awesome that it makes the work weeks bearable; beaming a shiny beacon of light at the end of the ugly work tunnel. I guess I couldn’t really ask for more than those weekends with my awesome friends and amazing boyfriend.
(But seriously. Should I stay or should I go?)