As expected, my internet posse had plenty of advice when it came to the Case of the Impossible Background Check. You were certainly all full of ideas, most of them involving me asking out Mr. Mysterious, but unfortunately I think that is out of the question until I at least have some more solid character evidence to go on. You can’t just jump right into asking a co-worker out! C’mon now people. I know you want to live vicariously through amusing tales of my own deep embarrassment but I am not willing to do that unless there is either a) some kind of case built for him by mutual third party acquaintance or b) he actually reveals something about himself that I can use, like, oh, say, whether or not he’s married.
There’s also the not-so-minor fact that he should be the one asking me out. Yeah. I said it. Grow a set, PAUL.
But besides all that, there is also the situation involving the other aide, sworn archenemy of Paul, who is almost always present at happy hour drink time. How awkward would that be? “Oh, yeah, I know you said you really don’t get along with Paul but I INVITED HIM ANYWAY YOU’RE WELCOME!” I can be a bitch, but I’m not totally evil.
So for now, my actions are limited to the amount of awesome I display in my everyday work life, which, granted, is quite a bit. Since last I posted I have had two encounters with Paul. During the first of these I was discussing a student with another teacher and I couldn’t remember her last name. “You know, Lizzie something, seventh grader… what’s her last name?” And he half turned around and quipped, “McGuire?” My immediate (ridiculous) response was along the lines of, “HAHAHA NO SILLY”, or something equally inane. He then added, “Um, not that I was listening or anything.”
So. We have established he has a sense of humor at least, even if it involves Hilary Duff knowledge.
And I think we have also established that I am a total ass.
The second interaction was in class today when I was talking with another aide and she was congratulating me on my recent win with the robotics kids. I joked that the principal was going to need to build a trophy case just for my winnings (last week I also brought in another trophy for my champion Quiz Bowl team) and he laughed and said, “So you’re that good, huh?” My reply? “Yeah, being this awesome isn’t easy, but that plastic trophy with a robot on it commands RESPECT.” He and the other aide laughed, and then one of the handicapped kids tried hitting another kid with the keyboard so they had to actually work instead of listen to me gloat about my nerd victories.
The dilemma at this point, as I see it, is that by now he should have ponied up some personal anecdotes at least. The fact that he hasn’t tells me that either he is painfully shy, which is a waste of everyone’s time, or he really is married/coupled and hasn’t said anything, which is crap. Which do you think it is?