What I’m Reading
Feb
9
French Toast Alerts
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Apparently it is a regional thing for the newscasters to call major snowstorms French Toast Alerts. Does that phrase get used in any other snowy locales? Chicago, Minneapolis, Rochester? I’m looking at you! French Toast Alerts signify that a storm is going to be big enough that invariably everyone will rush to the grocery store immediately after work to stock up on bread, milk, and eggs (the basic ingredients of french toast, obvs), thus making it virtually impossible for me pick up any of the real necessities such as cereal, beer, and Lean Pockets. What? I live alone.
Anyway, the thing that kills me is that we live in New England, yet every time the weatherpeople predict more than a dusting of snow people fly into a tizzy. People who have lived here their entire lives act as though they have just landed here from some steamy equatorial locale and have only ever heard of this mystical cold white stuff but have never seen it or felt it or ohmygodcommutedtowork in it! And to those people I would like to say, I am going to bitch slap you the next time you get in your car and drive off without clearing the snow from your roof so that all your crappy ass snow flies off your stupid car onto the car that I actually took the time to clean off.
Just sayin’.
So last weekend the D.C. area got hit with a big snowstorm and suddenly their entire metro-world shuts down. People: two days in a row of no school? I think I can only remember that happening here once, and I am included all the many, many years I was in school in New England, not just teaching here. And, you know, I’m not calling the mid-Atlantic peeps babies or anything, but tomorrow we are scheduled to pick up a good foot of snow here and I am willing to bet that I will still have to be at school tomorrow. Let me just take a moment to whine about this: WAH.
There. I feel better. But still not good enough to let you lazy folk get away with not scraping your cars off. For reals; that is just begging for my road rage.
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24 Responses to “French Toast Alerts”
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From Minneapolis by way of Michigan: I’ve never heard of French Toast Alerts. One thing I’ve heard more recently is the term “weather woody” to describe how FREAKED OUT the newspeople get whenever there’s going to be half an inch of snow. I like it.
I’ve never heard of french toast alerts but that’s pretty hilarious. I would stock up on Swiss Miss and marshmallows, personally. My friend in a Boston business school that isn’t mine has a preemptive snow day for tomorrow. And I say, WTF?!? I mean, I would love a snow day too, but aren’t we supposed to get a max of 12 inches? Maybe the forecast has changed in the last few hours. Whatever, people need to calm down.
We have STORM WATCH + whatever year it is. Of course, this year it actually means something since half of LA is washing down the street after it caught on fire last summer. And every reporter has a weather woody. (I’m totally stealing that term)
I don’t know why people wouldn’t want to live here.
I grew up in the Boston area, and never heard of a French Toast Alert! Of course, I almost never watch the news, so that might have something to do with it. I’m sure I’d remember if I’d heard it as a kid, though!
I’ve never heard of French Toast Alerts. Here we just call it winter. And no one freaks out because 1. Wegmans will be open 2. The roads will probably be fairly clear even if the snow is bad 2. No matter where in Rochester you live you could probably walk to your nearest Wegmans if hard pressed. But I do remember when I lived downstate, people would flood to the stores at the tiniest hint of snow.
Never heard of French toast alerts (although those weather people are rather clever) but man I agree with you about the whole flying into a tizzy thing! Like the world will come to an end if we don’t immediately rush to the grocery store just because we are having a snow storm!!!
Not to rub it in, but my school (shockingly) already closed for tomorrow! Fingers crossed you get a day of playing Wii and reading books!
Never heard of French Toast Alerts in Nebraska or Minnesota.
We only got a few inches of snow Sunday night and Monday morning, and more than half of my office was out on Monday. Very odd. Of course, it has continued snowing, and we have a freaking ton of snow now. Not like DC though.
I have not heard of a French Toast Alert. When I lived in Minneapolis people didn’t panic like that when storms hit. Now I live in the south and it is really ridiculous 1) how people panic when there is the threat of just a few inches, 2) the schools cancel at just the threat of snow, I think the schools here have been cancelled almost a dozen times this season and 3) how grossly inaccurate our weather forecasters are. About 90% of the time NOTHING happens!
Suck it up people! That’s all I have to say
I’m so glad you were the one to teach me about french toast alerts. I plan on using that all the time, but it won’t matter, since I’m planning on being snowed in alone tomorrow.
Okay, one, never ever heard the term “French Toast Alert” — and I watch Dylan Dreyer every morning. Because of the forecasts, of course.
Also, not only do I agree with you about whiny New Englanders, but oh, you should hear Mara go off on the topic. It seems hearty midwesterners scoff at what we consider “blizzards”.
When you said French Toast Alert, I didn’t know what you were talking about, but once you explained it, it sounded suuuuuuuper familiar. Maybe I heard it when I was living in New England during college?
Here in the Midwest, it isn’t called that. It’s very strange…. P.S. Sorry you had school today!
Another report from Rochester: I’ve never heard that either, but I love it!
My (up ’til now) favorite is when Kevin Williams on WHEC announces it will be a “Hug your Honey” night …aka a cold night that makes you want to stay close to your cuddle bunny.
I should probably just sit this one out since I live in Atlanta and don’t even own an ice scraper, huh?
Two days in a row? Try all week! Schools here announced they’d be closed all week yesterday. Yesterday was Tuesday. Snowmageddonomgggggg.
Not that I’m complaining, seeing as I haven’t been to work since Friday. This storm is a freak occurence and it is huge, but people here freak out if it even looks like a flake might fall from the sky — and this isn’t Florida. It snows every year.
It makes me feel better to know the same thing happens in New England. Do people practically loot the Home Depot for snow shovels before every storm? That, I can’t understand. Where’s you shovel from last year? How can THAT many people need a new shovel every time it snows?
The French Toast thing is new to me, but maybe my old CT stations do it now. The most hilarious one I’ve heard is a local radio station that calls its readings of cancellations and closings “Operation Snowflake.” Really? Is that the best they could come up with?
What? You mean people freak out over the prospect of snow in New England too? Now we Southerners don’t look so bad.
Did you get sent home early today? It is still crystal clear out here, which I am not complaining about because I do not need a snow day TWO DAYS BEFORE VACATION.
I have lived in Minnesota for most of my life and have never heard that expression. And I’m sorry, I’ve only had one day where we had a snow day at work. If it is less than 15 inches, it doesn’t really count.
I’ve never heard French Toast Alert and I lived in Boston. Then again, not once in the entire time I was there were classes every canceled due to snow. Jerks. I prefer a Sleep In Alert anyway. And then follow my nose to a friendly neighbor who happened to stock up.
I have never heard the term “French Toast Alert.” Huh? At work the other day I talked to a woman in Florida, and when I told her we’d gotten about eight inches of snow the past day and a half, she said, “Do you DRIVE in that??” Oh, southerners. They’re funny.
i think this year it’s snowmageddon, which is pretty stupid. everybody was freaking out this past weekend and nothing happened in nyc. of course today is a different story but still, come one people, it’s not like we’re gonna run out of bread and water and unable to leave the house.
I am familiar with the phenomenon, though I’d never heard it phrased that way. I’ve never quite understood it, though…why is milk considered so important? I hardly ever buy milk. In what way would my life be impacted if I didn’t have access to milk for a few days? Now, cheese…that’s a different story.
I don’t get the bottled water thing, either…people here were stocking up on water before our last ice storm. Uh…the water continues to flow, even if the power is out. And I’m pretty sure the water plant has a backup generator, should it come to that.
Never heard of that. But that might be because we don’t get those kind of snow storms. We’ve only had a snow dump of over 20 inches like once in the last 60 years. We usually max out at about a foot or so.
Also, in Chicago, they handle it pretty well. And people are stupid. So they are still easily able to get out on the roads. AND THE DO! AND THEY CAUSE ACCIDENTS! SEE: STUPID PEOPLE!