What I’m Reading
Nov
23
Mid-morning on Monday and I still feel drunk. It’s either the effects of the eight (EIGHT!!!) key lime pie martinis (plus two beers I forgot about) that I drank on Saturday night that are just now wearing off, or I managed to kill off a sufficient number of brain cells to effectively render me mentally handicapped. Or maybe both. Sigh. I don’t know. Clearly I shouldn’t even be writing this right now.
So Saturday night was when we decided to celebrate my birthday along with another friend whose birthday is only a few days before mine. Our combined guest list must have been somewhere around 40 in a bar that probably only holds 100 and I honestly cannot remember a time when I had more fun. Not only were my friends present, but my cousins both American and British, plus my sister and her boyfriend, and anyone else who happened to stop by. If you happen to be my Facebook friend you will have seen the evidence of how much fun I had. If not, sorry, but I am not reposting pictures that I don’t even remember posing for.
Moving on from my drunken escapades, the rest of the British invasion is going well. Yesterday the Mumsy Lou had a football party at her house with an elaborate spread of food and the British boys loved it. Steak tips on the grill? They were in heaven. Patriots on the giant flat screen? Best day ever. You can change what country they’re in, but you can’t change the hard-wired genetics of boys, I guess.
The things they have been requesting have been cracking me up. Their first night in they tried root beer and they found it mostly revolting but also intriguing. They asked if it came from roots and I had no answer. Does it?! I don’t know. I’m just a dumb American. They also wanted Ho Ho’s and Twinkies and Cap’n Crunch and Taco Bell. They thought the mailboxes at the end of the driveways were hilarious and exclaimed loudly about the yellow school buses in the mornings. I’m pretty sure they feel like they are staying on the set of a movie, which is exactly how I felt when I was staying with them in England. They also consumed an entire bottle of Jagermeister in one evening and felt what it’s like to have a real American hangover, college-style. Now we just need to bust out the beer pong table and they won’t even need to pay the $120,000 in tuition fees to get the same knowledge as the rest of us.
I think I’ll sit that beer pong game out, though. I’ve had my alcohol fill for the remainder of my 31st year of life.
Comments
14 Responses to “Living Proof That Martinis Only Make You Stronger”
Leave a Reply
Holy crap, woman – eight martinis? Those dessert-y ones are deceptively tasty. I wonder how the Brits will feel about Thanksgiving and all of the pre-Christmas shenanigans. Are you taking them out for Black Friday? Do tell!
I am trying not to think about how high your bar tab must have been by the end of the night. Those fancy martinis are expensive! Sounds like it was worth it, though.
I liked the birthday tiaras in the facebook photos.
Have the British cousins been making fun of any words we use here in the colonies? Or accents?
My mom LOVES key lime martinis. I’ve made it a habit to buy her tickets to a Broadway (in Chicago) show for Xmas very year (and her birthday and Mother’s Day). And we always go to dinner at the steakhouse downtown that has key lime martinis.
Man, this whole comment is totally not interesting. You’re welcome.
Happy Birthday! And congratulations on surviving your party. I’m pretty sure if I drank eight martinis and two beers on a Saturday, I would still by lying down on Monday.
I mean “be lying down,” of course. Don’t mind me. I am drunk right now.
Key Lime martinins? Hmmmm…. Must go try. NOW!
I love everything about this post.
Happy Martini-Birthday!
xox
It’s so funny what seems quaint and awesome to foreigners! I loved so many mundane things when we were in Scotland (which is the closest I’ve ever been to England). They call it a car park! That sounds so much cuter than a garage.
i want a key lime martini, like right now. never heard of it before but it must be delicious. and you have an amazing tolerance. i would have been dead by the 5th one. have fun with the cousins!
You know, jobs give you sick days, and personal days, and vacation days, but no one gives out drunk days. It’s sad, really.
Glad to hear you had such a great birthday!
Wait. Key lime martinis? That sounds delicious. I’ve never really had a martini before but perhaps I will have to try someday. I’m so glad you had a great birthday and that the cousins are having fun!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I’m glad you had a fun party!
EIGHT martinis?? I am impressed. Well done, friend. The Jaeger reference reminds me of one of my favorite lines in “The Hangover.” Did you see that? Thirtysomething dude takes a swig, winces, and says, “Tastes like college.” Heh.
Glad you had a great birthday and a great time with the Brits.