What I’m Reading
Dec
30
2009: Let’s Never Speak Of It Again
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Twenty-ten is on the horizon and can I just take a moment to mention how glad I am that 2009 is almost out of my life for good? I’m not even kidding, if there were one year where I could hit DELETE and erase it from my memory it would be this one. Stefanie sent me a hilarious Christmas card that claimed we should never speak of 2009 again and I am in full agreement: this year will go down in the official Annals of Awful.
In addition to having some rather craptacular moments, 2009 was also the year I did the least amount of writing in the past four years. I don’t think those two have much correlation other than the fact that I didn’t really want to spend every writing moment bitching about how difficult my life is when I know, in the grand scheme of things, that my life has little that could be called real tragedy. I mean, the unemployment rate is nearing 10% in this country and I’m complaining about being transferred to another school? I realize that this is my blog and my forum to vent and all but there’s only so much of my own whining I can take before I want to slap my own face off.
However! There were some highlights in 2009 that bear mentioning:
Reuniting with my family in England was pretty damn awesome and I have had two visits from them in April and November, as well as spending nearly a month with them there in July and August.
I spent a lot more time with my gorgeous book club ladies, spending many afternoons at lovely brunches and many weeknights imbibing delicious cocktails.
I hung out with fellow bloggers extraordinaire, OPH, Heidikins, and Janssen, and we enjoyed some quintessential fall activities like a ghost tour in Salem, MA, and the Keene Pumpkin Festival.
I managed to make the transition from librarian to teacher without killing any of my administrators, co-workers, students, or myself.
I met the new New Boy. And really, he’s pretty much my favorite present of all this year.
Despite my unflagging ability to look on the bright side (gag), I welcome 2010 with open arms. So happy new year, everyone! I hope you auld lang syne it to the max tomorrow night. See you on the flip side.
Dec
26
But I Didn’t Get My Platinum Grill
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Happy holidays, fellow internet-loving peeps! Mayhap you’re like me, spending the entire day after Christmas in your pajamas and a Snuggie, catching up on the interweb goings-on with terrible rom coms playing in the background. Or mayhap you are one of the crazies out returning things at your local mall of choice. Either way, I hope Santa was kind to you, or that you spent the day watching awesome movies and eating Chinese food if you are not of the Christian/Atheist-Consumer religion.
Things received this year from the Mumsy Lou (and padre, of course):
A new GPS
Ugg boots
XBox Live membership
lovely cashmere
Paula Deen pans
new flatware
two pretty scarves
loads of other lovely and thoughtful gifts
Things received from Jesus:
A probable case of bronchitis
Can you see where my loyalties lie? YEAH, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO, BABY HAY-ZUS.
Anywho, the new New Boy is spending his holidays among family in the great state of New Jersey (I told him to say hi to the Jersey Shore peeps for me, even though he insists he does not live anywhere near the Jersey shore) and so we have not done the exchanging of gifts. He did tell me to expect a package in the mail, and that I was not to open it until he got back, at which I scoffed and told him there was no way I could not NOT open something with my name on it that shows up on my porch. Still, I feel a little… selfish, I suppose. His parents are all about Jesus for real (“Jesus is the reason for the season” was actually a quote from TNNB’s mother, which he so kindly texted me), and even though TNNB is not religious himself I can’t help but be a little embarrassed about my family’s own rampant consumerism.
First world problems, I know.
I mentioned to my sister that TNNB and his brothers donate to charity instead of buying gifts for each other and she looked at me like I had three heads. The first words out of her mouth were “fuck that!”. I’m going to take that as a sign that she really liked the Juicy Couture sandals I bought for her (at her request, even though I found them completely hidge) and not that she is anti-charity.
Whatever. At least the NPW household is helping out the economy, right? Someone has to do it.
This year we did away with the cousin Secret Santa that we normally do since two of them are in Hawaii for the holiday, two have young children, and the other two are my sister and I and we exchange gifts anyway. It’s too bad really, since the theme this year was going to be a Gangsta Christmas and I was all set to buy someone some Kanye shades and a super bling gold chain necklace with JIGGA written in (faux) diamonds. I guess there’s always next year!
Dec
21
Last weekend I agreed to dog-sit for a friend of mine while she went out of town for a college football game, something I would know nothing about since my university was far too lame to have any contact sports. Ahem. Anyway, rather than bring her insanely active and somewhat destructive dog to my tiny apartment for two full days I decided to just pack a bag and stay at her place for the weekend. Only then, do you know what happened? WE HAD A GIANT SNOWSTORM. Of course! Because why wouldn’t we get a giant snowstorm when I am stuck with only two pairs of underwear? I mean, yes, I knew the storm was coming, and yes, I probably should have been a little better prepared, but my friend’s flight was canceled and she had to stay in Atlanta for an extra night so it’s really not my fault! I could have made it home before the snow if Delta/Mother Nature wasn’t such a bitch.
Luckily for me, the new New Boy had come over to hang out and watch movies and ended up getting snowed in with me. If we had had a fireplace and some hot cocoa I think the romantic holiday spirit would have been complete, but instead we had a dog trying to French kiss us and eat the food off our plates and some nasty white zin that we thought would be hilarious to imbibe. It was really not at all hilarious. So… plus one for staying to keep me company to TNNB, but that plus one is negated by his not being completely crazy about Love, Actually, which I made him watch for the first time. How can you not love Colin Firth? Even dudes have got to admit he’s got mad game.
So this weekend was a little crazy and now that I am finally home I realized I have a lot (a lot a lot a lot) of stuff to do before Christmas. Which is in FOUR DAYS OMG I AM NOT READY. Hell, I don’t even have groceries in my refrigerator, let alone wrapping paper and tissue paper and tape and ribbon and SERIOUSLY I DO NOT HAVE GIFTS YET. Not to sound mean, but thank goodness TNNB is going home to New Jersey for a few days so I can concentrate and get some serious shopping done around here without being interrupted by things like cute boys wanting to take me to dinner.
Technically I should be at school right now, but a mysterious “flu” has come over me and so I will try to make the best of it by powering through and ordering gifts from my comfy bed. Then there are just two days of school left, during which half of the kids will be absent anyway, and I will be free to enjoy an extended eleven-day vacation in my pajamas. And people: I intend to really, fully enjoy it. My plan so far consists mostly of said PJs, but also includes things like books and cookies and wine and family and friends. Happy sigh.
So how will you spend the holidays?
BTDubs, I have a post up at The Greenists about eco-friendly gift ideas for teachers and daycare providers. You know, if you’re interested in such things. And none of them say World’s Greatest Teacher on them. You’re welcome!
Dec
16
A New Post! Or, A Present For You
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Yeah, look, I know I am down to the bare bones posting here in NPW Land but I am a very busy lady and you all need to RECOGNIZE. Still, I hate to leave you with less entertainment in your feed readers so I thought I would share a couple of quick things with you before I head off to my first real Quiz Bowl match of the season (side note: I completely forgot it was today, so I really hope the kids know what the hell they were supposed to be studying because I surely do not). Keep your fingers crossed for my little nerdlets!
Because you love bullets:
- With this new round of kids they’ve started writing their Hopes and Dreams essays. One boy wrote, “I want to be a male model. I feel as though I can accomplish this dream because my mother tells me I am devilishly handsome every morning.” WHAT THE CREEPY!
- The co-worker that I make fun of the most (she of “choir practice” fame) left a pretty box of homemade cookies on my desk this morning with a card that said, “What would we do without your sarcastic jokes and snarky remarks? Happy Holidays!” I guess that means they actually get me?
- This afternoon is my school’s holiday party. Once again, I have paid $20 to attend my own party and choose from an assortment of finger foods. Plus buy my own drinks. Would it have been terrible for me to bring a CamelBak of wine?
- I have not really decorated for the holidays this year but my godson did present me with a Christmas wreath lovingly made out of a paper plate and some green markers. Super cute.
- Things with the new New Boy are still going swimmingly. Last weekend we packed in as much fun as possible, and we will continue to do so until he leaves for some family time in New Jersey. Actually, last night was the first night in recent memory that I had no plans beyond my couch and trying to dig myself out from the avalanche of grading that has accumulated.
And that’s all, folks. Things are good. I’m feeling much more like myself than I have in a long time. I’m enjoying the ride and all that. Now if only vacation would come a little sooner things would be golden. HURRY UP ALREADY, VACAY!
Dec
11
December Hodgepodge
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December is zipping right along, isn’t it? Christmas is only two weeks away, which in theory means I should probably get going on my shopping but in reality means I am going to wait until December 24th at 5 pm and then flip the hell out that I procrastinated for so long. Hey, I’ve known myself for 31 years. At least I no longer surprise myself with my own idiocy.
Normally I would have by now at least picked up a few random gifts here and there, but my life has felt like it’s in fast forward mode right now. And not the old VHS fast forward, either, but that three-arrow TiVo fast forward that skips whole commercials at a time. How the hell is the month half over? Well, for starters, I have been keeping busy with events like concerts and NHL games and the ballet, as well as holiday parties and fancy dinners and pedicures and oh so many other things. Not to mention the fact that I’ve been attending most of these with the new New Boy*, who is super cute and who scares me with how much he really gets me. People: I never thought a brain like mine was meant to be understood, but he seems to anyway, and I dig it.
Another bonus is that I finally seem to have broken the work barrier and found some people that do not make me want to stab out my own eardrums with extra sharp pencils. A bunch of us went to a showing of New Moon together and let me tell you, attending that movie with a middle-aged gay man in a t-shirt that says “Real Men Sparkle” is a treat you should all get to experience some day. We even went out for cocktails after! Like real friends! Not just people I say hello to in the copy room even though I have no idea what their names are despite having worked in this building for over four months now! All the exclamation points should indicate that this makes me so! much! happier! that I don’t have to feel like I am stuck in my isolated little computer lab with nothing but the hum of technology to keep me company.
Boiled down to the essentials, those first few paragraphs basically mean that time has been flying by. In a nice way, clearly, but nonetheless I could really use a few extra weeks between now and the day of Jesus’ birth. Oh! But this morning I woke up to the delightful news that I won Abbersnail’s Dolphin Stocking giveaway, which definitely helped push me over some imaginary holiday spirit line. Ho ho ho, bitches!
*Apparently I am sticking with the new New Boy as a blog name. TNNB for shortsies? At what point will he no longer be new? No idea, but when he does I think shortening it to The Boy will work just fine.
Dec
7
For roughly five years now I have been trying to get someone (anyone!) to agree to go to the Old Country Buffet with me. Even though I know that the end result will inevitably leave me either lying in a puddle of my own cold sweat on the bathroom floor or just noticeably heavier, it needs to happen. My requests to try this bastion of haute cuisine started off as a joke but quickly escalated into pleading. At this point it is the principle of the thing; no matter how many people tell me it is revolting, that they are in fact doing me a favor by not going with me, I have an insane need to make my own informed judgment. That only seems right!
It may also be a little bit of a pride issue, the fact that I cannot coerce anyone through sheer willpower to do my bidding. But really, it’s mostly about being able to join the proud ranks of people that can say with utter certainty, “Old Country Buffet is disgusting and I will never, ever go there no matter how often someone asks me!”
When I demanded that my friend Laura go with me she asked, “What part of the name Old Country Buffet makes you think you want to go there? Old? No. Country? No! Buffet? NO!!” Denied once again by the wise and implacable Laura.
When I met the new New Boy (blog name still to be determined- help a sister out here, people!) I explained my plight to him. Just like all the others, he laughed off my situation and tried to make me see reason. Clearly he did not want to be held responsible for giving his new gal a bout of food poisoning, but when the subject came up a second time he just said, “Oh, lady. If you really want to go, I’ll take you.”
And just like that, my intense need to see those giant vats of gravy for myself vanished, and my esteem for the new New Boy went up one more notch. He has set the bar pretty high for himself, that one. And he didn’t even need to ingest a plate full of lard and collard greens to do it.
Dec
3
Giving Christmas the Old College Try
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Okay. So. My brain is aware that it is now December, and that New Year’s Eve is less than a month away and then it will be a brand new decade, but the rest of me has not yet managed to catch up with those true facts. I’m still thinking of candy corn and jack o’ lanterns and the rest of the world has moved on to Santa and twinkling lights. I’m pretty sure the weather being a balmy sixty degrees isn’t helping my poor confused senses.
To get myself in the proper Christmas mood I’ve been trying to think up activities that will spark that holiday spirit. Last weekend I went to see the Christmas tree on the Boston Common (yes, with new New Boy, and that name is already becoming tiresome to type so I will be needing a better one right quick), and we stopped to see people skating on the Frog Pond. While still fun, these activities might have felt a bit more Christmas-y if A) it hadn’t been warm enough to be wearing just a t-shirt, B) the tree had actually been lit, and C) the line to skate was not a hundred people deep.
Nonetheless, a valiant effort by us! My next step is to start watching the Christmas specials, Rudolph being at the top of my list. And next week I will be taking in a performance of The Nutcracker by the Boston Ballet thanks to Cyber Monday’s half-off ticket deals. Tonight I am going to dig out my holiday decorations and maybe try to find the perfect little Charlie Brown tree to match my little apartment. If none of those things work I’m just going to chalk it up to an off year and look forward to a kicking New Year’s party and a ten-day break from school. What what!
And, oh, the shopping! Because nothing screams Christmas cheer like blatant consumerism and piles of merrily-wrapped presents. Am I right or am I right?