What I’m Reading
Jun
30
Goodbye, June
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A handful of people asked where I got the shoes from my last post, so in case I did not reply by email they are from Sofft (stupid name, sounds like toilet paper), and you can find them on the Sofft website or, if you are a bargain hunter like me, at ShoeMall.com on clearance. I would like to add that when I went to go search out that website for you I had to refrain from purchasing even more shoes. Someone needs to restrict my bank account access to groceries and gas because suddenly I’m acting like I’m made of cash and it’s a little worrisome. Maybe I can make Chris hold on to all my credit cards and debit card. And un-memorize all the numbers.
Except then last night Chris found a deal on Amazon whereby KitchenAid mixers were on sale for 60% off their normal price of crazy expensive and without even batting an eye I purchased one. I did promise myself the last time they were on sale and I missed it that I would totally buy one the next time I found a good deal, so I kept that promise to myself even though it means another bout of buyer’s remorse. I guess I just have to keep reminding myself that the next time I want to make the Alton Brown soft pretzel recipe I won’t have tennis elbow from kneading the dough for forty-five minutes. Plus, the mixer is sleek and black and will look nice in my kitchen in the little spot I’ve already cleared for it next to the margarita blender and mango corer and collapsible salad bowl. Sigh.
The real reason I shouldn’t be plucking the dollars from my cash tree is that I have some dental work coming up that is going to be expensive and likely painful. I’m pretty sure I have discussed my feelings about dental work here before but I would like to reiterate that I feel as though paying a dentist to cause me pain and anxiety is the number one worst way to throw away a grand. No matter what I go to the dentist for, even a routine cleaning, I feel like shouting, “just take them! Take them all out! Give me fake ones that will never get cavities or wear down or need whitening after three Starbucks drinks!” That’s how much I hate dental work. And by the way: thanks, parents, for giving me genetically soft teeth that are prone to cavities, making all that toothpaste and floss another useless expense.
In other news, I was just relaxing on the couch with my mug of tea and this laptop when I heard shouting. A couple was standing in the street fighting. I recognized the girl as one of our neighbors from up the street when suddenly she yelled, “I’ve had better sex with my DAD!” The guy’s face pretty much summed up my response of OH HOLY GROSSNESS, and then he walked away. I think it’s time to find a new neighborhood. Or buy a house, since apparently I’m rolling in it.
Jun
26
Photo Friday: Hooray, Summer! Edition
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Two full, glorious days of vacation under my belt. This is the good life. So far I have kept myself busy despite being missing from the blogging scene for two days. I would make some ridiculous promise about trying to write more often but I don’t like lying to you so let’s just play it by ear, yes?
Anyway, I know you are super-excited for my Photo Friday so let’s get down to it. Chris made me a sweet graphic:
Woot! He even made it Foto with an F, just to make all you spelling experts crazy in the head. Isn’t he thoughtful? Moving on, Wednesday I spent most of the day helping my six-months pregnant cousin paint her house so that she didn’t have to haul herself up a ladder. My karmic reward was an evening spent at Fenway, watching the Red Sox kick some Arizona ass.
They even wished me a happy birthday! Okay, not really. I actually went with a co-worker; she was supposed to bring her twin daughters for their birthday but they were throwing up. Always helpful, I agreed to take the tickets off her hands. They gave us hot dogs, pizza, Skittles, and a pennant. Plus, I saw this:
Dudes: KOSHER VENDING MACHINES! I went to a mostly Jewish university and I have never seen these. I also loved that they offered “hot nosh, 24/6″. Because of the Sabbath! Sorry, no potato knishes from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. Hilarious.
Today I went over to Wheel Works and tried out a bunch of different bikes. I really liked the sleek hybrid bikes like the Specialized and the Bianchi, but the most comfortable ride was definitely the Trek 7100. So I think this weekend I will take all that Quiz Bowl money and purchase a sweet new ride. Feel free to weigh in: too girly girl?
Chris and I finally stopped drinking out of our poisonous Nalgene bottles but needed something to replace them. So we bought Sigg bottles and never looked back. Except to wonder what the heck we’re supposed to do with the old plastic bottles, since it doesn’t seem environmentally-friendly to recycle poison. Being conscientious is hard, yo.
I’ve also been tending to my garden. My second story, enclosed porch garden, that is. So far I have a mint plant that is threatening to overtake my apartment, sweet basil, chives, parsley, and three or four other things that I told myself I would remember as I was throwing away the plant markers and promptly forgot what they were. Maybe you can clue me in.
Oh, and I got my new shoes in the mail. Unfortunately, the boots were a smidge too small for me. But the second pair are cute and comfy and they are a silvery color that I didn’t already have. Plus: bows!
So what are you loving about this summer?
Jun
24
Oh, hey.
So guess what?
I don’t know if I mentioned this yet, but as of this afternoon I am officially on vacation. Until September. Yeah, I know, it’s pretty awesome. I probably would have talked it up even more, this whole vacation thing, but I’ve really been savoring the overwhelming feeling of relief that I am done for the academic year. This year in particular has seemed really long and difficult, one random problem after another, but the end of June brings a sweet release from having to tell one more kid to put away his damn phone because the library really isn’t the place to discuss which girls he thinks are “total dogs”.
Plus, I wouldn’t want to make you feel bad or anything about all the time I’ll be spending at the beach by talking about it at length. I mean it’s not my fault that the next two months are going to be spent in sunglasses and sunscreen, sipping iced tea and reading Sweet Valley High, right? And I would totally invite you to come hang out with me except I know how you have all those deadlines and Very Important Things going on at work that you couldn’t possibly miss!
So today will be spent getting my library ready for the hot humid months without me. They will supposedly be painting over the horrid pepto pink color in favor of a deep blue and tan; it’s hard to believe that when I come back things will look very different. Then again, if the building maintenance people don’t get in here when they say they will I’ll have to come in to kick some serious ass so I will be in here anyway. Do you think paint kills mold? And bugs? God, I hope so.
Happy summer, people. SCHOOL’S OUT!
Jun
23
As I lay here listening to the dulcet tones of machine gun fire and police sirens I think, how did I ever fool myself into believing that the equation {Chris plus XBox} would equal anything but a headache for me? Earlier he actually paused the game to run to his computer in order to find out where the internet stood on his dilemma: should he sniper shoot the dirty police officer or the police officer’s drugged up brother? Originally he tried to shoot both, like he was some kind of vengeful video game god, punishing the fictionally crooked characters. But the designers of Grand Theft Auto IV scoffed at this and made him re-do the mission, this time killing only one shady character, thank you very much.
Forced to make a decision he turned to the wise minds of the interwebs and discovered that guess what? It made no difference at all which person he decided to shoot, the outcome would be the same. Which, funny, I believe that’s exactly what I said when asked my opinion. Except I believe I phrased it more like, “who the hell cares?”
Personally, I prefer games that are cute and fun to look at it. Mario and Yoshi making out in the Mushroom Forest and all that happy crappy. I’d rather be collecting Star Bits than punching prostitutes. What can I say? I’m just not cut out for a life of make-believe crime. Even watching the car chases and bank robberies makes me feel a little ill, and only partially from the motion sickness of watching second-hand on such a giant television screen. What happened to the days of Dr. Mario and Tetris? Now I have to take Dramamine just to sit in the living room.
I could never condemn Chris for loving his games. Hell, I was enthralled with Maniac Mansion more than any geeky teen girl should have been. I would play Wii tennis for days. I become completely mesmerized by the most ridiculous of computer flash games, like Sushi Go Round and Peggle. But sometimes, late at night, when I hear the screams of the innocent bystanders of Liberty City getting run over by Chris’s stolen Humvee I can’t help but wish he would pick something a little less gruesome the next time around.
Jun
20
One More Reason I Will Never Be A CSI
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After much drama yesterday, Chris decided to accompany me to see Shear Madness at the Charles Playhouse. The drama was caused when a friend bailed on me at the last minute, for understandable yet still frustrating reasons. Luckily, Chris had read the great Yelp reviews of the show that afternoon, which helped him make the decision to skip his band practice and accompany me to the show. Sometimes having a boyfriend whose life decisions are based on the internet actually does work in my favor.
Before the show we decided to stop at the Chipotle right near the T station to split a veggie burrito. Three pounds of guacamole later we started walking to the T, only to hear my name called out on the street. I turned to see my ex-best friend, her fiance, and two other friends that were lost in the ex-best friend divorce proceedings. We had a surprisingly non-awkward chat for five minutes, I learned that she was fired from her teaching job for budget reasons after three years (go, Massachusetts!) and she was moving to Philly in a week. I have long felt it would be awkward to run into her even though we live about a ten minute walk from each other but when it eventually did happen I felt more weird about how not weird the meeting was. I guess that’s what happens when you were friends with someone for twelve years.
After the chat we were already running later than we planned so we barreled down the escalators to the train at Davis and just missed it. The next one came soon after and we made it a few stops before the train got stuck at Central. This is the third time our train has gotten stuck when we have somewhere to be and I have no idea what the problem is, but if the MBTA wants people to stop driving their cars they better start stepping up their game. They might also think about fixing the speakers since we sat for 25 minutes on a slowly-filling train, listening to the teacher’s voice from Charlie Brown. They could have been telling us to evacuate the train and we would have still been sitting there until the track blew up and the roaring flames engulfed us.
We finally made it to the Theater District where we went down into the basement of the Charles Playhouse, basically underneath the floorboards of the Blue Man Group show. I have to say, when Universal Hub gives away tickets they do it up right. We were in the very front row, almost directly in the middle of the stage. Of course, the theater is tiny and intimate anyway, so that meant I could have reached out and grabbed any of the actors as they walked by. I didn’t, FYI.
They also gave us free drink vouchers and we stocked up on beers beforehand because guess what? There’s a BAR. Right there, in the tiny little basement theater. My kind of play! We noticed a couple of people next to us also talking about their blogs; during the brief intermission we chatted and I discovered that one of the women had graduated from library school with me (I didn’t know her, she’s a corporate librarian), and the other wrote posts for the Bostonist.
The play itself was pretty hilarious in a totally cornball, Bostoncentric way. Boston is a great city for in-jokes and the entire show was filled with cracks about living in Brookline versus Brighton, Boston cops with their Dunkin’ Donuts, and the many awesome sports teams. Some of the jokes were definitely cause for eye rolling, but I think that was part of its charm. The kids in the audience were cracking up, even though I’m pretty sure they missed the thinly veiled jokes about the gay barber and his supply closet. Since half of the show is based on audience participation the actors had to be on their toes for the murder mystery questions and the ad-libbing was probably even better than the scripted part of the show. Being front and center we were easy targets for the actors, who asked if I had seen what the gentleman had put in his briefcase ten minutes earlier. And because I have a memory the size of a pea I couldn’t recall, which was the cause of some ribbing from the actors. Doh.
Overall I thought the show was pretty great, even though I was a little concerned that I was laughing when my blogging cohorts were not. What can I say? I am easily amused, and not always by erudite, highbrow humor. I did feel better that Chris was cracking up right next to me, though, ’cause man, that ish was funny. And as for whodunit, do you really think I would ruin it for you like that? You’ll just have to come to Boston yourself to find out.
Jun
17
Theater, Baseball, Eighties, and Beer
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I recently started reading Universal Hub, which is an awesome blog about random Boston news. What I love about it is that they also write about all the surrounding ‘hoods, including mine, and not just the hoity-toity goings-on of Newbury Street and Beacon Hill. Sometimes their posts are hilarious, like the one titled, “There’s a lot to like about Philly”, where the body of the post just says “Ok, not really. Seriously.” Sometimes they are informative, like the post that alerted me to the fire that took out portions of the subway Red Line. And sometimes, they score me free tickets to otherwise expensive theater shows, including cocktail vouchers! If only I had known that this blog would bring me riches like free books and play tickets I would have started writing one back in the days when my computer still had to call up AOL to see how things were going before I could cruise the web.
So Thursday night I will be attending an actual play (I am not including the middle school production of The Hobbit, even though the set and casting were great), and that play is Shear Madness. According to their website they have shows in Boston and in D.C. I know they have been here for quite some time- at least 10 years- because I remember people going to see it in college. Somehow I never made it there, probably because I was too busy seeing Blue Man Group seventy kabillion times. Has anyone else seen it? It’s been so long since I’ve been to the theater that I am afraid I am going to hate it and I have no idea why I feel that way. Totally irrational, but there it is. Still, free is free and I intend to make the most of that comped alcoholic beverage of my choice beforehand. I’ve really hit the big time now.
The rest of this week is looking similarly booked. The entire school faculty is going to an ALB baseball game tomorrow night and we are bringing spouses, significant others, etc. This will be the first all-school event that Chris will attend since I have not asked him to any of the holiday or retirement parties. And lest you think I am a big jerk for not inviting him I assure you that I am only trying to spare him the pain, boredom, and exorbitant prices of our faculty functions. It’s no Red Sox at Fenway but baseball is always fun and there are lots of us going, so I am kind of looking forward to it.
Friday night is the long-anticipated 80’s night at a Cambridge bar. A bunch of my co-workers and I have been trying to coordinate this plan since October and apparently we are very bad at planning, because this is the first date we could come up with when we were all free. Three days before school ends. But if I get to hear Corey Hart’s Sunglasses At Night it will be so worth it. Saturday, of course, is the American Craft Brew Festival, where I am sure we will be completely tanked by 4 pm. I’m kind of glad I skipped the Scooper Bowl and saved all those extra calories for beer because there will be no room in this belly for dairy once I’m done sampling fine craft brews from around the country.
I hope your weekend is looking as awesome as mine. Anything good coming up?
Jun
17
Summer Lovin’
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Much like this time last year I have been sitting around wondering when an awesome summer job that pays tons of money is going to fall into my lap. And much like last year, the chances of that actually happening are smaller than small. This year I don’t even have a sweet gig at a gym lined up! So I have been half-heartedly searching craig’s list for jobs that require only 1/3 of a brain, which is an approximation of how much brain I have left after spending a year with middle schoolers. I’ve almost resigned myself to once again spending the summer collecting my school checks, drinking sugar-free Koolaid through a crazy straw, and not earning any extra money. Because, you know, it’s not like I ever, ever want to be able to buy a house or anything.
SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A JOB!
Ahem. I do have a few things lined up for the summer that might prove lucrative and/or entertaining for you all. I just dashed off an email to the Asst. Superintendent of schools asking that she give me money to come in over the summer and take inventory of the library. If you ask me, I should make triple-time money for that job considering the heat and general nastiness of my library in the summer months. Whether or not she will agree to give me money in exchange for work remains to be seen; most likely she will email me back telling me to get my lazy ass in here for free since it’s MY library.
I also signed up to take another class for the summer that will be a week long. Last summer I took one in short stories for the middle school, which was more work than any other class I’ve taken thus far. I also noticed that everyone’s favorite class, Technology for the 21st century classroom, is being offered this summer. If they would pay me to take that again I might consider it- a week of getting paid to check blogs in the AC sounds damn near delightful in the face of my current zero prospects. Alas, I can’t take the same class twice, so instead I signed up for Movement in the Classroom. I have no idea what it is, only that a co-worker friend of mine is teaching it and she promised it will involve lots of games. I like games! I like free graduate credit! Score.
We also just RSVPd for a wedding in July, for which we will travel to the wilds of northern Jersey for one night. The wedding is for one of Chris’s roommates from college whom I have only met once, at the wedding of another friend. Memories of that first wedding are somewhat hazy (open bar), but I do recall that there are cleavage pictures out there of the soon-to-be bride and I. Also, the stories Chris has told me of the soon-to-be groom include such hits as the time he went beserk and threw the entire contents of the fridge all over their college apartment the night before they were supposed to move out, or the numerous occasions where he didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. I am just thankful that as I get older and more and more of our friends are already married off, the number of weddings we are required to attend has been decreasing exponentially.
So those are my current summer plans. I suppose if worse came to worst I could always take my Dad up on his offer to pay me to help repaint their house. Spending the summer up on scaffolding with my Dad should definitely earn me enough to buy my own place, right?
Jun
16
Signs My Sickness Is Getting Worse
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Last week I was sitting on the couch staring blankly at some Food Network show, drool slowly oozing down the side of my mouth, when Chris came over and set his computer down in my lap. “I found this for you,” he said, very seriously. The screen was splashed with a full-page 25% off coupon for an online shoe outlet that was already having a giant clearance sale. “I love you,” I said, and turned my attention to the daunting task of scrolling through 84 pages of cheap shoes.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw him grin and nod sagely, then he eased off the couch and I became totally absorbed in the shopping process. Ninety minutes and two pairs of shoes later I looked up and noticed with surprise that he had turned off my Food Network show, got himself a snack, turned on his XBox and had been playing Grand Theft Auto to his manly heart’s content.
“Did you just distract me with shoes so you could play video games?”
“Yes! It totally worked.”
“I would be embarrassed at how easily you manipulated me except I just scored some very cute shoes.”
He nodded again and wisely tapped his head. Always thinking, that one. Well, that, and he obviously knows me far too well for my own good.
Jun
13
The Future Clergy of America
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Really? Only one person got my celebrity crush picture from yesterday? How are you all not completely smitten with Nathan Fillion? I have one word for you: Firefly. Watch it, love it, have daydreams about being trapped in space with Mr. Fillion. And two million shiny points to Noelle for getting it right.
Moving on, I did not lose any children on the field trip yesterday. Even when we unloaded them from the bus in a middle of a field and then took off they still found their way to the pool. Tenacious little mofos with GPS phones. Throughout the day I did manage to get my sorry ass kicked at some particularly challenging mini-golf holes but came back with an amazing basketball win at the end of the day. I might have thrown a few elbows during the last couple of points but those eleven-year olds need to learn how to protect their faces better on defense. I think my amazing comeback may have inspired the Celtics to pull off their 21-point comeback last night to beat L.A., and probably also inspired the Red Sox in their three-homerun win at Fenway last night. Being a role model for all the celebrity sports figures is really important to me, but not as important as winning. Or being modest.
Actually, being with the sixth graders at the end of the year was a great reminder of how little they all were at the beginning of the year, before they became jaded middle schoolers in earnest. They are now acting very definitely like seventh graders with the OMGs and the holding hands and the whispers about secret parties to which certain people are not invited. It’s good to see they’re all grown up and ready to take the rigors of seventh grade asshattery seriously.
I find it interesting to look at certain kids and try to imagine what they will be like once they’ve made their way through high school- a good number at private boarding schools, some sticking with the public education- and college, and maybe even grad school. Will they still be little jerks? Probably some of them. But most of them I simply have no idea. People do strange things and change in ways I’d never have imagined. I mean, one of my closest high school friends became a nun. A nun! I cannot even begin to imagine her current life in the convent, although this beautiful PDF newsletter gives me a tiny little glimpse into the awfulness. (My friend is on the fourth page at the bottom, in case you were wondering. And also, how did she suddenly become chubby at the convent? She said they take a vow of poverty so where’s she getting the Snickers at?)
And when I enter the gates of Hell I will be sure to mention that I still find Catholic priests driving brand new Caddys to be anti-religious.
So ends another week, one more Friday to go. Can you tell I’m holding on with a very tenuous grasp?
Jun
12
This Picture Is Worth 12,000 Words
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I am on a field trip today so I wanted to leave you with a few quick things. HarperCollins has been lovely enough to send me a bunch of books to read and review, which I am more than happy to do. I am always down with free books. Hopefully they will continue to do so, and all my reviews will be published under the Reviews tab at the top of the page.
Secondly, please keep your fingers crossed that this field trip goes well. Unlike the last one, where I lost a child in downtown Boston. Because, yeah, remember that? Not so much fun.
And lastly, the photo meme that is making the rounds:
Hey now. My first flickr mosaic! Pretty, innit? I like this type of meme: one that requires minimal effort and still manages to get the job done. If you want to play along, feel free! And super bonus points to anyone who knows who number five is- be still my heart.
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into flickr search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.